Rough Day

Today was a difficult day. Please bear with me as I unload a bit. Many of you have come to ralize I am highly passionate and enthusiastic about a lot of things. The root of that trait is that I am emotional. There are times that characteristic provides me an edge, and at others it holds me back. This morning was our oldest daughter's first day of kindergarten. I have had moments in my car the last two days of silent tears, but this morning was incredibly hard. Now, I understand many of you travelled this road as well and survived, as will I. But you have to understand I cried at our wedding and my lovely wife who had heard from a friend that I was counting her steps down the aisle to see when her first tear would fall, didn't shed a tear to show me up.

I'm not sure that if I was sad to see her leaving the fold, or happy that she gets to start flapping her little wings. Probably a bit of both. How does this relate to our study on prayer? First of all, believe me when I say that many prayers daily were sent for her by her mother and I. This is the first step in gauging how effective we are as parents. Have we instilled in her enough self-confidence? Manners? Respect for others? Rights and wrongs? Empathy for others? Basic academic skills to succeed at this level?

About midday, I felt God tugging at me as I was driving back from Emporia. I turned ESPN Radio down and opened up a dialogue with God. The feeling of His presence filling my car made my insides smile and sit up straight. What I felt Him telling me was that I have to trust her and the time we spent training her up just as He does us. God forms us in the womb and trusts that we'll find our way back to Him. He trusts that once we invite Him to abide in our souls, that His consistency and grace will suffice. He left the door open to talk with Him at any time to discuss concerns,struggles, praises, sins, and victories.

At that moment, I relaxed and shed another tear or two. Though I realize clearly that I still have many more years with Gracyn at home to continue helping her find her path and instilling positive qualities in her, I have to trust that God is looking after her. He has been present in our house and in the words we speak since she was born. She is learning to talk with God herself. If God can trust His teaching to charge us with leading others to Him, surely I can trust that He has helped us train our child to enter the world.